Wednesday, December 29, 2010
5:40 in the morning, I hear a knock on my door. I also hear the thundering noise again, coming in five-second intervals. I went to the door and expected to see my Son there. He was sick all last night throwing up--I think it's because he didn't wash his hands after handling the crabs and then eating. I saw him there and he asked me, "What's that noise?"
"Maybe it's the dogs," I replied. My mother and I had brought in the dogs last night because we had heard that the temperature would be below freezing. We went to the laundry room, where they stayed. The noise was definetly louder there, but it wasn't coming from the dogs. In fact, the animals were dead silent. "It's not them."
"They must be scared out of their minds," Son said. I wondered what it could be. It sounded like the Jolly Green Giant flicking the roof or something. I turned and spied a red light outside the window to the front of the house.
We went to it and saw a truck with some sort of crane leading up to the roof. I wondered what they were doing, but they certainly couldn't be doing any sort of evil if they were being loud like this, and Mike or Mom wasn't freaking out. I considered asking them about it, but I figured they were asleep. So I went back to bed, still hearing the house-rattling BOOM every five seconds.
After a while, it stopped. I went back to sleep.
Later that morning, my mother came into my room to say good-bye. I asked her what the noise was, and she said it was people putting shingles on our roof. I considered this: Wouldn't that take more than five or so minutes of BOOMing? But they only put those shingles on our house, not really setting them down and stuff. I'm sure stapling shingles into place would be alot quieter.
Tuesday, December 28, 2010
Later, as I played Bioshock 2, my brother and I noticed him putting his legs and claws up against the glass, towards us. I wondered what he expected to achieve by doing this. Was he angry at us for taking him in captivity? Or did he want to be closer? Either way, we did nothing to him and watched in semi-fascination.
Son wanted to know how to tell the difference between male and female hermit crabs, so he went to look it up. We never bothered to ask the people at PetSmart what they were. He came back later and told me that females will have two small dots on their undersides. Okay. First, the crab needs to be compliant and come out of its shell. THEN you can check for their two-dot thingy.
I think that we know for sure that Julio is not female. Now we wait for Consuela to be nice and quit sleeping.
Sunday, December 26, 2010
I've been thinking more in numbers lately, believe it or not. Like how my dream last night was about how black holes appear--that when there is a negative integer in the XYZ matrix, a black hole appears. It doesn't make any sense at all, but it did while I was asleep. And the two hours afterwards.
For Christmas, I accquired a number of things. Most of it money. My parents think I'm hard to buy for. Am I? Honestly, I appreciate every gift I recieve, even if it's something I have to act like I like. They thought of me, and that's all that counts. For Christmas Eve, I was over at my Dad's house, and we got to open up gifts three days early. It wasn't because anyone was impatient--okay, maybe the ten-year-old with ADHD was--but it was because the gifts we recieved would be so much more fun if we got to use them. The boys got Nerf guns, which I helped assemble. I like being a helping hand on the battlefield. xD I recieved a blanket and pillow set, a macramé set, gift cards, a suede-covered sketchbook, calligraphy pens and candy. I've been making macramé bracelets since, slept with that pillow and blanket more than once (It resides over at my father's house along with the asian Lung plushie and Skunky), drawn in the sketchbook, and eaten all the chocolate I could find in the candy when my period got me in the change-my-drawers-three-times-a-day blues. I also used the calligraphy pens. Once. I haven't done any calligraphy in a little over a year. I used one of the gift cards--an iTunes gift card. I got Chopin, Janis Joplin, Jefferson Airplane (not Starship), Beirut, Oceanlab, AC/DC, Guns n' Roses and Stevie Ray Vaughn all on one disc--of course, many separate songs. I am in possession of only one Chopin and Stevie Ray Vaughn song. The others, I have more than one.
At my grandmother's house, I recieved a much smaller amount of gifts but the significance was just as much if not higher. Scrabble slam, a hand-sewn shawl with pockets on each side, and a sewing box with a whole manner of sewing goodies inside, including but not limited to: a pair of scizzors, a ton of pins, tracing paper, a tape measure, and a wire necklace made by a distant relative. It was a cute gift. I'm officially the old lady of the house.
At home, we opened our presents on Christmas Eve because a few people wouldn't be able to attend the Christmas party. I recieved a box and a basket. My son gave me a pair of mukluks I am currently wearing. It feels like walking on a cloud. My mother and step-father gave me gifts of money, a gift certificate to a professional hair place, candy, lotion and a cinnamon candle. My mother's boss, whom she is close with, gave us all a sum of two hundred and fifty dollars in gift cards. Maybe less. I forgot the exact number. I gave my son a DS Lite so that we can both play, instead of him using my DS all the time. He was estatic. He's also enjoying the Final Fantasy on DS as well. FF never dies.
Christmas Day, we had the party at our house. I didn't get any gifts from anyone, but my cousin Sebastian gave a number of people Christmas cards with two dollar bills in them. Not two separate bills, but one bill with the number two on it. I love Sebastian. He's so quirky. He's got hand writing like a serial killer and a moustache and goatee combination like Robin Hood from Men in Tights. xDD
Now is the best part of Christmas: enjoying the loot and gobbling up the rest of the feast.
I've been playing Bioshock 2, borrowed from my dad and his girlfriend. It's great. I never played the first one. It gives me a terrible headache after two hours, but it's worth it.
I didn't get any clothes this year. Strange. That's one of the many things I expect.
Happy Birthday, Jesus.
Wednesday, December 8, 2010
Today is my brother's birthday. Next week it will be mine. We were both concieved on the same day, but we're about a week apart. Weird, I know. We have the same birthday month, but we're not twins. xD
I am obsessed with tails. That's why Miles "Tails" Prower is my favorite Sonic character (no, that's not really the reason--it's because he's yellow and cute and has TWO TAILS ♥♥♥). But I have always wanted a tail. Lately, I've been thinking that a prehensile tail would be best, because not only would it look cool, but it would be able to grab things. Like a third hand. 8D
Last night, I was watching Babylon A.D. until about 11:00. I didn't get to see all of it. I love Vin Diesel. He's sexay. 8D I told my mother he's handsome and she told me, "Eh, he's got a nice body but, he's lacking in that area." Whatever mum. I think he's handsome.
Anyway, while I was watching it, the dogs were inside, just hanging, when all of a sudden, I smelled the fiercest, most disgusting stench that could ever invade my home. It smelled like ass that hadn't been washed for eight years. "Ohmigawd," I said, and looked down. Sitting right below me was my black pit-mix Hershey. The nasty bitch. "Dude, that was Hershey! Hershey just farted! Ugh!"
Dog farts are the worst. Like, no shit, it was like rotten egg on top of rotten meat on top of unwashed ass. Add a little skunk for good measure. Holy fuck, that dog can smell.
I turned the fan on. When Mike came out to tell us to turn the TV off and stop watching muscly Vin Diesel goodness, he asked why the fan was turned on. "Hershey farted," I told him.
"You don't need to turn the fan on for a dog fart," he said.
"No, you don't understand," I told him, "IT STANK!"
I turned it off anyway, since nobody would be in there, and went to bed.
Monday, December 6, 2010
Yesterday, I missed church because I was sick. Cold and all that. Mucus up in my nose and all. It wasn't very pleasant. This morning, my mother made me a Jimmy Dean sausage crossiant patty thingy and I couldn't eat it. Every time I bit into it, I would gag. So, I have nothing in my stomach today. I wonder if I'll throw up before lunch, so I don't have to waste that as well.
I want to throw up now and go home.
Friday, December 3, 2010
First, I forgot my pencil bag (or lost it, I don't know which) and couldn't do ANYTHING in my first hour, so I borrowed a pen from Barefoot and it was all-right later.
But then, my mother called me and I was hoping it was going to be about my lost pencil bag and she found it in her car and was going to drop it off for me. But of course not. Instead, she called me to say that I was failing classes and needed to talk to x and x teacher. I asked her about my pencil bag, but she said she didn't see it in her car. Damn.
THEN, I go to talk to x-teacher. He tells me that I need to give him back a test, because the grade wasn't in, and that's why my grade was so bad. I also needed to do such and such assignment. All-right, I said, chipper as a fiddle (that doesn't make much sense but whatever), and went to retrieve my test. I go back, and it turns out that his door is locked. WTF? He KNEW that I was coming back to give him the paper! Why was it locked? So, dutifully, I sat and waited outside his door for about 15-30 minutes. Some man walked to the door and tried it, without much success. Finally, I stood and figured, "I'll come back in ten minutes."
I go to Diddy's room and sit and do some HW. Girls are in there talking about buying fetish toys for significant others/friends they joke with. They leave and I inform Diddy of two things: I was once tricked into searching "lap dance" on the computers as an uninformed 5th or 6th grader, and a kid who liked me before, didn't pay much attention to me again, was now paying attention to me again. I feel bad. I don't want to have to shoot him down. I've got too many things to do, not enough time to nourish a romantic relationship. I'll wait until after I'm done with school.
Mother calls me. I tell her the news about the x-teacher not opening up. She tells me to go back. So I do. Turns out, the door isn't locked anymore. I do my stuff and get out.
I go back to Diddy's room. A girl invites me to go to First Fridays. "I dunno," I tell her, but she wants my phone number anyway. So I get hers, call her later once I get a somewhat straight "yes" from the Parental Guidances. Her car is overheating. "I'll text you the number," she says. I don't have texting. So she just tells me. I write it down and call this girl.
She doesn't answer, and her answering machine says that I should text her if I really want to talk to her. But I leave a message anyway.
About 15-30 minutes later, she calls me. "Who is this?" Well, I dunno, numbskull, YOU called ME. Are you meaning to tell me that you call unlabeled numbers and ASK who they are? It could be a pedophile, you dipshit! I tell her who I am. I ask for the plan. They're already on the lightrail. "Whatever, I just won't go," I tell her. "Okay. We'll take lots of pictures for you!" she says. Hang up. I'm not so upset that they just forgot about me, but that this is the SECOND TIME that I've been invited to go to the damned First Fridays and I HAVEN'T GONE for ONE REASON OR ANOTHER.
I think I just might retire from going anywhere with my friends at all. It's usually not that great anymore, anyway.
Wednesday, November 24, 2010
Today, I go to my Dad's house for Thanksgiving. Is it just me, or is EVERYBODY overlooking this holiday? I mean, sure, Christmas is HUGE, but Thanksgiving isn't just about turkey. Middle-easterners have nothing to do with it anyway (punchline drum, uber fail xDD). But seriously, are we such a materialistic community of people that we ignore the time to get together with our family and eat great food (or not so great food, if Aunt Fanny never quite got that casserole right)? I mean, there's football, too!
I know that Christmas has food, family, AND gifts, not to mention all kinds of TV specials including the good ol' classics on ABC. And there's The Voyage of the Dawn Treader, too. (CAN'T WAIT TO SEE IT, ZOMG) But seriously, people, pay a-freaking-ttention and give thanks. Don't even THINK about putting up your Christmas lights until Black Friday. D8<
I'm hungry. All I had this morning was toaster waffles, and maybe a bite of two-day-old brownie. But hey! It's still good and moist, unlike my mother's brownies, which she just leaves out on the counter to harden so badly we could sell it to hockey players. I like to be smart and put Seran (sp?) wrap on it, to keep it from flies and things. 8D
Also, apparently someone paid to design the box art for Okami on Wii fucked it up totally.
Thursday, November 18, 2010
He wants to go to heaven
With a crown upon his head.
But the Lord said, No!
You must go down below,
All dressed up and nowhere to go.
I bought a journal a couple of days ago. It's not like your contemporary journal, all pretty and shat. It's pretty plain, with grid lines. I like it a bit better than just regular rule, but I still want pure plain paper. I've written a few funny things in it, like the first page is the page where I licked it, and a few others are lists of things. Things I found while picking up litter (plastic army man, 40 gazillion cigarette butts, a broken silly band), Things I see in the present (now the past, a piano, trophies, an old guy), and Things I am bored enough to see or do (pizza, play video games, make apple slices in the shape of bunnies and EAT THEM). Others are random doodles, like My Left Hand-Land, Recipe for a Cuddly Sock Kitty/Pewsa, and every one of my lists, above or below the writing, there is a small doodle showing what exactly I mean by "plastic army man" or "an old guy" (which is pretty much a doodle of a plastic army man or old guy xD).
I wish I knew how to play piano, so I could play The Dresden Dolls songs. I haven't heard their new album. I want to. But my favorite will always be their first album. Cuz "Truce" and "Jeep Song" are the best, in my opinion. 8D "Good Day" and "Coin-Operated Boy" makes me want a Toy Piano (not a toy piano for kids, but a tiny piano that makes a semi-music box kind of sound) xD. I also wish I could make a music box, and compose my own music box song.
My nose just bled. It's okay now, though. I went to the bathroom and stopped it up. It wasn't that bad.
Oh yeah, two whole pages of my little journal of "no particular thoughts" is dedicated to internal dialogue. It's funny to read. Things like, "Lizards!" and "SOMEBODY smells like peanut-butter..." and "What happens if you SIT on a crack?" just make my day sometimes. My favorite has to be, "If Peter Piper picked and Edward Cullen, how many Twilight fans would commit suicide?" I have a better idea--how about we convert them all to reading some GOOD writing, like J.R.R Tolkein, or C.S Lewis (Screwtape Letter and Narnia series FTW), or even my new guilty pleasure Scott Westerfeld?
Good writers FTW.
Wednesday, November 17, 2010
When I sing, I try to sing in a good voice, and I don't do it to piss people off or get attention. I usually sing when I'm home alone doing dishes or something, so fat chance of catching me singing a bad song badly anyway. xDD
Thursday, November 11, 2010
Most people today think that love is a feeling you get when you look at a boy or girl and just want to stick your tongue down their throat. That's not love. It's called "Lust". The Bible is pretty clear on what TRUE love is. It says so in 1 Corinthians 13:4-7:
"Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous, boastful, proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable and keeps no record of wrongs. It does not delight in evil but rejoices in truth. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance."
This might not be in everyone's bibles because I shortened a few repeated bits ("love is patient, love is kind" in NIV, for example), but the main message is still there.
I like to take things apart, look at them, and apply them to my life.
First, "Love is patient." I would say I'm a pretty patient person. Except with Matt. I'm also rather unkind and rude to him. I vow from today onward, that I won't, to the best of my ability, be rude, unkind or impatient with him, even though it's totally his fault that he says the things he does (seriously, I'm not making him say ANYTHING infuriating to me, he does it all on his own).
"Love is kind." I'm rather kind, I would say. I don't go out of my way to be unkind to anyone or anything. So far, the first two I've got down (not saying I'm perfect or that I'm 100% lovely and patient and kind; this is just what I figure right now. It may change in the future).
"Love is not jealous." I can be jealous sometimes, but who isn't? Actually, I just realized that I can be pretty jealous alot. But on the inside, and I only reveal this side of myself to my mother. I see the rich kids at my school and get rather angry at them, thinking, "oh, you think you're SOOOO good because your parents have SOOO much money and you can just wave bills around like Bill Gates at a strip club. WELL FFFF YOU!!" I know that's very un-christian of me, but it's how I feel on the inside--I don't act on it. I just happen to get rather angry when I see these overpriviledged teenagers ride around the city in their fancy new cherry-red mustangs and think, "Did you EVER lift ONE FINGER to help pay for that car?" I guess they might have, but they didn't pay for it all the way. For me, when I earn enough for a vehicle, it's going to be all on me. Because my family's po. Not poor--po. So poor we can't even afford the other "or". Nah, just kidding, we've got a fine house and we have internet and cable TV and other luxuries that I'm not going to complain about, but in all truth, if God wanted us to be Republican, he would have made all Christians rich. xD I'm not Republican or Democrat, by the way, I'm not a very political person. But I have my opinions.
"Love is not proud." Okay, "pride" can either be a good thing or a bad thing. You can be proud to be an American, a Londoner, a Berliner, or to have a fine son that became president of the United States. Or you can be proud in general, not willing to sink so low as to help starving children in Africa because your money is "too good" for that stuff, or help a certain person trying to earn an honest living on the streetcorner because they're not worth your time and they should just get a real job. People working on streetcorners are human beings too. So, Love is not proud in the latter sense, but I think it isn't proud in the "good" sense, either. Jesus told us to be humble. Pride is not humble. Pride is, in fact, the opposite of humility. So Love is humble as well. I would say that I'm humble when it comes to loving others. I don't take pride in much, and I certainly don't take pride in knowing that I love certain people. Love is humble, plain and simple.
"Love is not boastful." It does not boast. What exactly does it mean to boast? Dictionary.com says:
–verb (used without object)
1. to speak with exaggeration and excessive pride, esp. about oneself.
This coincides with the previous statement--pride. Love isn't prideful, nor boastful. It doesn't exaggerate all of the good things it's done (nor the bad) and, to reiterate, is humble.
I just realized that I switched the last two. But it's all good. 8D
"Love is not rude." I'll admit, the only person I'm ever rude to is Matt. That's it. Anyone else, you have to get down to HIS level if you so much as want a taste of my wrath. But, I'm trying to do better in loving people, especially strangers, so you just might not ever see my bad side again.
"Love does not demand its own way." Another translation says, "it is not self-seeking." I see this to mean, "Love is neighborly." Love doesn't look out for numero uno--in fact, there is no "numero uno." Love sees all as equal. From the richest man to the poorest, from the darkest skinned to the lightest, from the east to the west, from tallest to shortest, from gay to straight, from lonely to popular--Love sees none of these. Personally, I don't think I seek my own way. Maybe only with God--when I plan something done my way. Which is never God's way, by the way. Today was a great example, but that's another story...
"Love is not irritable." Love is not easily angered. This coincides with patience--which I often do not have much of with Matt, but I'm getting better. On the inside, I can be angered easily with him, but lately, on the outside, I don't show it. Love is always (no pun intended) lovely. It's friendly and doesn't get angry, even if it is angry on the inside.
"Love keeps no record of wrongs." Love doesn't hold grudges. I'm not much of a grudge person, believe me. I'm still friends with people who have wronged me MILLIONS of times in the past, and I still love them. I don't have to like them 100%, but I still love them.
"Love does not delight in evil." Okay, I can truly say that I have delighted in evil--however innocent it was. It wasn't COMPLETELY evil, trust me, but eh, evil is evil. I think this one is going to be the hardest to break out of, because evil is LOADS of fun. But just because you're a Christian, it doesn't mean that you shouldn't have fun anymore. There are many non-evil fun things to do out there, trust me.
"Love rejoices in the truth." Some translations say that love rejoices with the truth. I think it's all the same thing, unless someone can prove me wrong. I certainly know that I rejoice in truth--maybe not have a party over it, but I enjoy it. Even if the truth is painful and ugly, I still enjoy it--because it's the TRUTH. There's nothing more real than the truth, and that's the truth.
"Love never gives up." I'm a giver-up-er, fo sho. I tried out for volleyball one year, and when I nearly passed out because I didn't have enough air in my lungs, I gave up the idea of joining the volleyball team 100%. Then I played Mirror's Edge and thought, "WHOA THIS IS SO RAD! I WANT TO DO THIS!" So I planned on joining a Track team to help me start running, but the volleyball failure came back to haunt me, so I gave up on that dream. But then again, I didn't love volleyball or track. I do love Parkour, though. Maybe, if I get really serious, I should take it up again?
"Love never loses faith." Another toughie. I'm a person that loses faith alot--not in God, but in other people. I trust God 100%. It's humans that I don't trust. I know how faulty humans are--I mean, just look at me. I don't always follow through, even if I really mean to. I know it's a kind of selfish way to look at things, but I understand that I can be selfish. I accept that. I just need to working on trusting others.
"Love is always hopeful." I'm not sure about how hopeful I am. I mean, I HOPE that one day, I will earn enough money to buy a ukulele for myself. But the word "hope" can be so negative today. Say, a boss comes up to you and asks you if a certain co-worker did what he/she told you to tell him/her to do. If you say, "I hope so," then it will make your boss doubt the working ability of both you and your co-worker. He/She just might fire you both, because you can't give effective orders and your co-worker can't follow them. So, hope can be bad. But Mickey D's on the corner is selling Hope in happy meals--so there must be some redemption for this word.
"Love endures through every circumstance." Some translations will say, "Love never fails." As humans, we all fail. I probably fall into the percentage that fail more than most--but failing can be subjective, depending on who you are. To some, losing a race is only a failure if you didn't try your best, and to others, "if you're not first, you're last".
I began to write this last week, on Thursday, but I was really tied up on the weekend, so I couldn't finish it. xD
So, what's the point of this blog entry?
Love more. Love in the way that true love was meant to be. Not in the lovey-dovey "fall in love" hug kiss affectionate whatnot that the world has twisted it to be, but the way the Bible sees it. If you forget how to truly love, that's okay, we all are failing creatures anyway. Just do your best not to do it again. 8D
Tuesday, November 9, 2010
First, I ditched first hour for a few minutes to take pictures with funky hats. Drama room is so much fun, even when you're not sneaking in or smacking on the door to startle whoever's inside. >3<
I spent the majority of my second hour outside picking through the planters looking for snails and rocks roughly the size of M&Ms. Why? Here's the scoop...
BUT YOU CAN'T TELL ANYONE!!!
I went into my TA and the teacher approached me with a blue ceramic cup. "Now, you're going to think this is weird, but... Chemmy, I want you to go outside and find little pebbles," here she gestured the size, "about the size of m&ms. I'm going to play a prank on the principal." She then proceeded to tell me how she was going to go about doing this--buy a bag of M&Ms and empty it, then fill it with rocks so he wouldn't know the difference. How clever! I figured, not really, since the consistency of m&ms and rocks were very different, but who was I to deprive this woman of her devious fun? Besides--I have a long-held grudge for the man.
After looking for so many rocks, I spied something lying in the mud roughly the size and shape of an M&M. It had a little swirly shape and a part of the thing shimmered like it was wet... HOLY CRAP ITS SNAILS!! They were super tiny, but just the right size. I gathered as many as I could find that were in the right size and shape, and brought them back to the deviant.
"I added these snails for good measure," I told her.
"That's perfect!" she said.
I picked up one and showed it to her--it was rather odd and in an unconventional shape, more like a Peanut M&M rather than a regular one. "This one's a whopper. How cute is he?"
"Yes, yes, it's darling, you're weird," she said, which made me laugh. "Now, go wash your hands."
I did and came back. She handed me a dollar bill and sent me to the teacher's lounge to ask a teacher to retrieve a bag of Peanut M&Ms from the machine.
The teacher laughed and told me, "She wants me to get her coffee, now buy her candy... I should write a book on this job." I laughed.
Back in the office, I was sent upon the task of replacing the candies with crap. The teacher wanted me to cut into it, since it didn't have a flap on the back like normal candies, but I had a better idea.
Instead, I pulled the two sides of the bag apart, splitting it from the inside, and thus opening it without a tear. The teacher thought I was brilliant. I did the deed, ate all the candies at the teacher's request, and glued the bag together. It wasn't exactly the same as a perfect bag of peanut m&ms, but the idiot eye wouldn't be able to tell.
Then, the teacher sent me on the task of writing an anonymous note to the prankee. First, she wondered if we should write, "from your fans", but then came up with a better idea; "especially for you". I thought it was brilliant either way--you could have sarcasm one way and sincerity in the other. Thinking back on it, both on the same note would have been perfect.
I wrote the note in a slow hand, making sure it didn't look like I had written it. I put hearts in the "i"'s and a heart for the "o" in "you".
It was a grand undertaking. 8D
She later sent it to him when nobody was there, and I have yet to hear of the results.
I heard of students being pulled out of classes at random lately, but I'm not sure if it's connected with my devious deed.
At lunch, I spilled ramen all over myself, and smelled like ramen for the rest of the day. xD
Then later, my brother and I were taken to the dentist's office to get a checkup and teeth cleaning. We got x-rays, and I was nervous about it, because it can get very uncomfortable if you have an inexperienced nurse placing the x-ray slots in your mouth. But the nurse I got was pretty experienced, so it was fine.
We later ate Tortas, one of the few dishes my mother can actually cook (well).
I watched Glee.
And then I designed a logo for Blown Away Luna.
Thursday, November 4, 2010
Shopped an awesome pic on Facebook. It maketh me happeh. 8D
But nothing moar has been interesting, lately. Oh well.
Wednesday, November 3, 2010
A piece of randomness to contemplate: as I ate my lunch (a ham and cheese Lunchables pack), a brown piece of leaf fluttered (more like crash-landed) into one of the openings where my crackers would go. WTF? I picked it up and looked at it, then threw it away. Not in the trash, but just out into the wind, where it fell onto the floor.
If I haven't said it already, I'll say it again; I hate A-days. Hate 'em with all my stinking black heart. I hate History and Math, because Math makes me feel like a fuckin' retard and the only homework in History is to take notes, so I really don't learn anything (the teach doesn't even check the day after for your notes). And then he expects us to know a 60-70 question test at the end of the month plus or minus a couple essays. THATISBEARCUM!
Apologetics and Science aren't so bad (Science teach has a reputation for being hard on his students and in general a penchant for tom-fuckery, and Apologetics is just rather annoying because it's taking notes and listening to an old man drone on and on about something that he expects everyone, long-term and short term memory retainers, to remember). Every once in a while they give an assignment, and it's a fifty-fifty chance of the ass-sign-mint being uber difficult or ridiculously easy.
Anyway... for class favorites, I won "Most Artistic" and "Most Original". I'm not sure what that's supposed to mean. Am I "Most Aristic" because people just take me for granted that I can draw a doodle better than others or what? I mean, I don't think that the people who voted for me for that position even know half the shit I've done. Sure, they see a cute doodle hanging up on the teacher's desk and shit, but do they really know? I don't even know alot of the kid's names in my class. I find it creepy when people know my name but I don't know theirs. It's like, "GTFAWAY! I've never seen you before!"
As for "Most Original"... how do you determine that, anyway? Is it by someone starting a fashion trend or ignoring it? Is someone "original" when they think of something no one else has thought of (which, by the way, is pretty much impossible today)? Considering who else won with me, I think it just might be all of the above plus "that person who is just so strange and yet semi-cool but we don't want to talk to them so that we don't ruin our reputation as 'cool/popular' because other people might not consider them popular and to even be seen with the likes of them could ruin my high school career".
Fuck it all.
People probably see me as anti-social lately because I've just tried to avoid talking at all. I mean, it's not like I don't like talking to people. Just sometimes, I don't have much to say. There are three situations that happen when two people try to converse. One: Person A tries to strike up a conversation, but person B doesn't respond at all, and person B is labeled as "antisocial". Two: Person A says something to person B as an idle thought, and person B says something back that requires a response from person A and the conversation is born. Three: Person A says something to person B and person B replies, only the answer is not something that catches person A of particular interest and the conversation has died.
I'm usually in situation One and Three. Sometimes, I'm person A, and other times, I'm person B. Lately, I've been person B. I mean, I try to be nice when others are cordial to me, but fuck it if I've been pissed off already.
Today, a girl caught my attention as I stared in her general direction, but I was really looking at a long poster of M.C. Escher's Metamorphose poster. "Are you okay?" she asked.
"No," I replied.
She looked like she didn't want to ask, but she did anyway. "Why?"
"Oh, you know, it's just been one of those weeks." She probably thought I was on my period. Actually, I just got through with that shit. Of all days, one less excuse.
I figure this is one of those times when God hides himself so that you can grow closer to Him, but lately everything coming out of my mouth has been "shit fuck fuckedy tomdickery son-of-a-monkey-fuck". Trust me, I can put a sailor to shame with my shit.
I'm just tired of looking out on the patio and wishing my gradumanated friends had been a year younger and stayed with me....
Tuesday, November 2, 2010
I'm semi-depressed angry angsty. Like, I miss the old days. Every day is the same fuckin' thing over and over again and I'm like, FUCK! I just want to give the world a big fat FUCK YOU in the sky. xDD But seriously, I just realized, as I walked down the hall to math class yesterday, I felt like, "How many times have I walked down this same fucking hall to the same fucking class that I don't want to go to? Fuck. I want to complain to Danielle..." but I don't have texting (which is everyone's main source of communication) and I hate talking on the phone and it's not guarunteed that she'd pick up or even have the time to talk. I wish I had a real hobby. I would love to be able to run, but I'm out of shape and I'm like, "fuck running, fuck that."
Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck.
You say and write fuck enough, it doesn't sound like a word anymore.
I bet porn ads would come up if I let them, in reply to this post. xDD Fuck them.
I think that if this semi-manic-depression goes on any longer, I just might do something crazy. Like take too many behavioral pills and run into the mall fountain and rip all my clothes off and scream, "GRAAAGH! I AM THE KRAKEN FROM THE SEA!!"
That actually doesn't sound too bad right now.
Monday, November 1, 2010
I walked into the bathroom and SO MANY PEOPLE were in there. I bumped into the same girl twice and stepped on somebody's foot. I thought, "I really wish Danielle were still here, so that I could complain to her about every little last detail, like the girl that keeps getting in my way and how I miss all of my gradumanated friends so badly."
I just saw her last night, but I miss her so much already.
Also, I was ignored. I felt like I didn't exist, and while that's nothing new, I was ignored by the teachers. Well, forgotten, actually, but I still felt like people thought I wasn't important enough to even look at.
I want to re-read the Redwall series. I began reading them in Jr. High out of the school library (as well as Animorphs), but they didn't have the whole chronological selection (Animorphs as well, but it was worse). I don't think I ever finished the Adventure of Luke, or whatever it was. Or even started it.
For English, though, I'm reading Blue Highways by William Least Heat-Moon. It's pretty rad. The characters he meets throughout the thing, the conversations he has, seem to me like it's not a memoir at all, but just something he came up with, like fiction. D8<
Whenever I want to feel artistic in a writing sense (as in decribing something), I think, "What would ESO do?" xD
I have so many clothes handed down from my sister. I need to go through them and throw out ones I don't like or would never wear anymore, because my drawers are PACKED.
I miss my Sasuke boxers. T^T
Friday, October 29, 2010
Wednesday, October 27, 2010
xDD No, not really. I was more like, "I don't want to go to school... but I'm not going to tell you that. I'm just going to say that I feel better, but I feel uber worried because I have this HUGE essay that needs to be finished." It was all the truth. All the time, I laid there, snuggling up to her, I stared at the curtains on the door to the backyard--there are windows in that door, which stares straight into the setting sun--which is why they got the curtains there. I felt whimsical, just a little bit, and described to myself in my head what they were like to me in that half-sleepy moment. It was dark in the room, and the only light came from the sunlight bouncing off of the neighbor's white (or beige) wall and reflecting into the room, filtered through the curtains. They were red like roses--probably to set the mood, but also to match the dark wood furniture in my parent's room. It made me want to eat chocolate covered cherries. There are pleats in the curtain, and the curls in the dark red curtain made nearly black lines when the material doubled up on itself. Some went all the way down to the bottom. Some stopped short. Some were halfway through, but stopped like the others. Somehow, I felt that these "curtain lines" were like my life--some things ran a course, some things were transient, and some were just short of staying but stopped anyhow. And then I thought how weird that was. And that I should blog about it that day, when I had time. But I wasn't home pretty much the rest of the day anyway, so it wasn't going to happen.
So after hearing my complaints, my mom said, "You can stay home from school today..." YES!! I wondered if she knew my ploy, but the presiding idea was that she came up with it all on her own, because she felt bad for me. She couldn't get angry if I asked for a day off--or something. But then immediately, she changed my doctor's appointment from 2:00 in the afternoon (when she would pick me up early from school) to 9 or so. I got to watch both Bakugan and Beyblade all the way.
So the rest of the day was pretty gnarly. I got checked out by the doctor (whom I learned was from Hawaii 8D) and she gave me some allergy pills. Then we went to go get coffee drinks at It's A Grind. My mother suggested it first. "We should go to It's A Grind," she said.
"But isn't that all the way down at Westgate?" I asked.
"Yeah, but who cares?"
xDDD Sometimes, my mother can be a rebel. When she's not being a drill sargeant. xDD
So my brother and I sucked on Road Warriors (like a frappucino, but better--it has chopped/ground/puree'd chocolate covered coffee beans mixed in with mocha or something--I don't remember--I just love the choco covered coffee bits) and got in on the Pokèmon WiFi trading action. And we talked about Spirit Week this week--and my mother decided to take us down to the nearest Savers and Big Lots for costumes. 8D
I finally have a plaid skirt! 8D Two, now, since my sister let me go through a ton of clothes she didn't want anymore and another plaid skirt was one of them. xDD
Then we visited my
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
In fact, I wish I had more music T-shirts. So far, I only have two Pink Floyd shirts and a Led Zeppelin shirt--the Swan Song one, with the angel. 8D
And this one, too, because Joey Ramone is my hero and lover. 8D
AND HOLY SHIZZAATTT!!!
I found a blog with this AMAZING fashion! But here's the site, since I didn't bother to copy the link to the actual blog.
Nevermind, here's the blog:
Pretty rad, at least to me. 8D
Friday, October 15, 2010
Today is a friday, and it happens to be a Good Friday--no, not like the Friday before Easter, but the friday that is a B-day, becauase my B-days are the easiest. I mean, my A-days aren't too bad, but I always dread them. B-days, I look forward to because I have Diddy twice in a row. I mean, I guess I should dread Diddy's class, because of all of my classes, it should be the hardest, but it's nice in thar. I don't hate anybody in that class (not that I hate anybody in any of my classes, but there are certain classes where I sit next to smelly folk and it ain't pleasant), and the work is semi-easy (doing it is the easy part--it's doing it ALL, turning it in and making sure you stayed on the rabbit trail that's hard xD), and best of all, I get to look forward to my next class--Creative Writing.
The one thing I would only dread about this day, which never comes to me beforehand until I actually face it, is getting my HUGE literature textbook out of my locker. It's about seven inches tall, six inches wide, and three or four inches thick. The thing's a behemoth. And I'm expected to bring this thing home? Not likely. I'm glad I have about two hours to do all my work before I go home, or else I would be in serious pain.
But it's days like these, where I know my weekend is going to be packed, that I wish I owned a car. T^T
My mother actually gave me a piece of paper last week or so that had a picture of a VW bus for sale. It was pretty beat-up, but it only had about a hundred miles or so on its new motor. I took one look at its $3000 price tag and nearly freaked. THAT WAS SO CHEAP! Especially for a thing that wasn't too beat up. Sure, the brakes might need replacing and the transmission fixed and all that good mechanical stuff that I don't know how to do (can you even fix a transmission? I've heard there are some mechanical parts of a car that can't be fixed--only replaced), but by golly I will learn and GET THAT BUS!
But so far, I've only got about $150 in my savings account, and exponentially less in my checking. xD BUT HUMBLE BEGINNINGS, PEOPLE! HUMBLE! BEGINNINGS!
It's not the only one out there, though. I've heard that small towns have TONS of them (literally) just waiting in someone's garage.
Tuesday, October 12, 2010
The last time I watched a new episode of Beyblade, I saw a dude whom I first assumed was a chick. Then they used the pronoun "he" and I was like, "THAT DUDE IS SO GIRLY!!"
But I liekz heem anyway. xD
Cuz he's a mysterious type, chuu know? That Tsubasa dude with the long grey hair. Is he tan or something? Is he going for the Ganguro look? Seriously...
In anime, the chicks NEVER look dudeish (and if they are dudeish, then you can at least tell right off the bat that they're female), and the dudes almost ALWAYS look like a chick! I'm telling you, it's nawt fair. D8< But whatever. If the japanese want to emulate the americans and white people, go right on ahead, with your green hair and purple eyes and butterfly wings and ninja skillz, shit. At least when we make an archetype, we're pretty literal about it.
^^Girly ninja dude. D8
Sunday, October 10, 2010
Wednesday, October 6, 2010
It hailed really bad when I got home yesterday and we brought the dogs in. They smell so bad. But we couldn't just leave them out to be pelted by hail--which pulled up some of our roof, by the way. I kept them in Son's bathroom and got so used to the smell that when I left and came back later, I was like, "DAMN! Those dogs smell."
The freeway was so backed up, my mother called me and told me that she had been stuck in traffic for a while. I told her, she was going to be stuck there for a long time, because something happened where a telephone tower came down or something, and the freeway was just jammed for miles upon miles. It was also very flooded.
The worst part was, she had to pee.
Later, she called me and told me a woman was giving birth ON THE FREEWAY. I was like, "Shit, can't it wait? Go to a hospital for Pete's sake!"
I find it funny when Hummers get stuck in floods. Like their stupid car owners underestimate the depth of the flood and go right through and end up floating. Like, "Haha! You bought this bigass, expensive car and now it's floating in a flood! Serves you right for being an idiot!"
At school, the lights went off for two seconds. At first, I was like, "YESS! SCHOOLS OUT!" but we must have some backup generator or something, because the lights came right back on, and I was like, "SHIT!!!" Oh well. Maybe it'll rain that hard again today and we can go home. BUT WHAIT! Today, I have my creative writing class! NOEZ! Can't it wait for tomorrow? Oh, wait, nevermind, tomorrow is a half day anyway. D8<
I can't win, can I?
Oh yeah, that ring that my mother got me? It kinda broke. I was trying to adjust the inner, more flexible strap and it just broke off. Maybe some superglue will fix it.
Tuesday, October 5, 2010
AND I LOVE IT. 8D
I don't normally wear or buy rings, because I know that if I wear them then somehow, they will be lost. Don't ask me how. They just do. But this one is awesome, because it's in the shape of a crocodile. My mother thought it was gecko-shaped (I love geckoes 8D), but it was actually a crocodile (maybe an alligator, actually, but whatever). I didn't wear it today, and I kind of wish I did, but now that I am wearing it while typing and it's nearly flying off my finger cuz it's so HUGE.
I don't know what to name him. Yes, it is a him.
Monday, October 4, 2010
It's due today. I told my parents that I needed a book like two weeks ago. They're like, "Oh, it's okay, you can read a book in like two days." Fuck that, they never took me, and now I have to suffer.
Okay, I know, I should have told them it was due TODAY, but I told them it was due today two weeks ago, WHEN WE HAD TIME to do this shit. If I told them we needed it on friday, they just would have gotten all pissy at me, like, "Why didn't you tell us earlier?" FUCK, I DID TELL YOU EARLIER. You just ignored me.
I don't think I'm done ranting.
I drank nothing but water yesterday, and I think my face is exponentially clearer. I actually drank ALOT of water. And I took a midday nap--dunno why I was so tired. But I napped for maybe an hour or two. I finally got up when I ate a slice of kiwi.
I want to name a corgi Kiwi. It's just a cute dog name.
Anyway, I figured I would cheat on this assignment yesterday, but I was still in the throes of waking up, so I just said, "fuck this, I'll get a zero." I got a 100 on my last test (first one in five to six years, woo!), so I should be covered.
I want an animal to cuddle.
Did I mention that I'm wearing my mukluks today? I'm wearing my mukluks today. 8D
Sunday, October 3, 2010
I decided, today, that for a while (I'm not making a goal, just gunna try my best to keep this out as long as possible) I will drink only water and maybe some milk on the side and see what it does to my complexion. I used to have a pretty clear complexion until about the year I turned 16, when pimples began to invade every corner of my face, not just my forhead and chin and the area in front of my ears (which are the worst to pinch off, cuz they's difficult to get to, but oh so relieving). Now I've got it on those places plus my cheekbones--not just the general area of my cheeks, but the area right under my eyes that my cheekbones protrude the most. And they get pretty bad. So I'mma try this "diet" and see if it works.
Also, I'm doing laundry and I'm screwing it up. Again.
Saturday, October 2, 2010
There happened to be a fair in downtown Tempe--the Oktoberfest, to be exact. It was fun. Tina and I went on a ride together, and she got a headache which she cured with vanilla yogurt. Barefoot and I shared an Arnold Palmer and some island noodles.
It seems Barefoot really wants to go to homecoming with me, but I think homecoming sounds stupid. I mean, what do you do there? Eat food crapped out by a priest? Apparently, we're allowed to dance, but I can just hear all the stupid songs they're going to play for us to dance to. Gawd, I just want to do something ten times more fun than homecoming that night. He wants us to dress up in kimonos, but I'm like, "Where in the world are we going to get kimonos?" He said we can find some online, on Hot Topic, but I doubt it. I'll look.
Nope, they don't have kimonos. If they ever did, they don't have them now.
And when the school blocks Blogger... what do I do then?
I'll save up for my own laptop. >8D Then I can take it anywhere I want and blog. Geez.
Anyway, Yesterday I talked to Tucker. It was strange. I've never talked to him on such a level--superficial as it was, I've never really talked to the guy other than to say, "Hey, what was the assignment again?" But I asked about Younglife, and he just went all out. We talked (well, more like he did) all the way out to the quad and I felt kind of self-conscious, like, "Dude, people can see you talking to me. What would your girlfriend think? What would your friends think? I know what I, think--I think all your friends and your girlfriend are going to think that you've somehow sunk so low as to talk to me."
Then it hit me--how I really feel about myself on the social scale. I know it's wrong to think like that, but with a background like mine, how can you blame me? I've been labeled the "nerdy, anime-hentai, kids-who-do-pot-behind-the-bleachers" kind of person. Or so I think I have. I remember, my freshman (or was it sophomore?) year, my friend told me that some girl thought I was weird and scary. I was like, "I don't even know that bitch. What did I indirectly cram up her asshole?" Now I feel like I'm not as weird as I used to be, but I still like anime, but I've never done pot (as far as I know, I may have done it while sleepwalking, but I'm not known to sleepwalk, but I have fell off the bed before when I was five or so).
I know there are kids who are "popular" who talk to me, but it's on an EXTREMELY superficial level--they just pass by and say, "Hi," and I'm like, "Hi," all sweetly, but on the inside, I'm like, "Shit, you say you're my friend but all you do is just say 'hi' when I pass by in the hallway--fuck that, I'm not your friend." So in the end, it's a very malicious "hi".
The only people I actually hang out with are Matt, Josh, and Jared. Lately, I've only passed notes with Talia. I like hanging out with Diddy afterschool, because I've known her for 3+ years now and I really like when she starts conversations with me--like the last time, she told me that she wears undershirts all the time, but now because of her baby belly, her undershirts ride up and she needs to get maternity ones. It's little things like that that maketh meh happy.
Lately, most of the people I talk to in person are male. And not like "hi" in the hallway, bullshit, but actually, "so did you see Glee last night?" kind of thing.
By the way, I fell in love with Glee. I believe it's very well-written. And I also saw five minutes of an episode of Jersey Shore. It's total crap. And the guy with the "abs" doesn't even have nice abs. They're actually pretty ugly. Those kids need Jesus.
I hope I can have the patience to keep my cool until I leave this place. Right now, I feel my patience being slowly stretched.
Monday, September 27, 2010
Who was Jehosophat? Why was he jumping? And why do we use the term as an exclamatory remark? Was he a cripple? Do we like the alliteration? Or is it both?
Questions invade my head when I have nothing to do.
My current team in Pokémon SoulSilver is: Eirenaios the Ampharos, level 32; Pau the Pidgeotto, level 31; Florus the Meganium, level 32; Shanti the Furret, level 32; Kagiso the Vulpix, level 33; and Paz the Quagsire, level 33. I plan on taking the Blackthorn Gym with them. Three trainers down. How many moar to go?
Did I ever mention that Vulpix and Ninetales are my favorite pokémon? I want a shiny Ninetales. They're very pretty. I can't really go looking for one in Diamond/Pearl/Platinum, because Vulpix don't exist in either of those (or do they?). The answer is: Yes, only if you dongle them from LeafGreen, which I don't have.
I can try to find one in SS and the two other pokémon games that I have available--Emerald and Sapphire. Of course, the chances of finding one are the same. D8
Sunday, September 26, 2010
So I fell asleep circa 1-2 in the morning. I woke up about 8 because my family and I were supposed to be at the church at 9 (on a saturday, I know). We're on the chair cleaning team. It was okay, until it hit about 12:30 and all the work was done and I was dog tired, having gotten only 6-7 hours of sleep. Then after that, I had to go work for two and a half hours over at my teacher's house, vaccuming her floors, washing the windows, polishing copper pots and whatever else she needed me to do. I got home at around 4:30 and I was dog tired. I just wanted to nap. But no sooner than I had walked in the door, in five minutes we were expected to go to church AGAIN for two more hours and I was getting pissed. I had been working ALL DAY, and my legs are sore (still), and I'm coughing up all kinds of crap, for ONCE could you let me stay home and fucking REST?
After church, we went to Village Inn, which wasn't bad, I was hungry, which slashed one thing off of my list of complaints. I watched my neice experience brainfreeze after she swallowed too much ice cream (which was freakin hilarious, her eyes all wide and her head shook violently, and I felt so bad for her but it was still funny). Afterwards, I took a long relaxing shower (which I wish could have been a bath, but I don't have a plug for my drain so a hot shower will do) and my brother and nephew continued to play Call of Duty in my room. I didn't have the energy to tell them to get out. I just crawled into bed and fell asleep. I don't know if I turned my light off after I went to bed, but in the morning it was off.
I was woken up at 6 in the morning so that we could go to a walk for a breast cancer cure. I wondered the whole morning what I was going to wear. I didn't want to wear any shorts or leggings, 'cause I didn't shave my legs, but I just decided to wear some knee-length shorts because I just didn't give a shit anymore. I also didn't eat anything until AFTER I walked, which pissed me off, but whatever. I ate whatever handouts were at the booths and got a ton of pink writing materials. We went to McDonalds and got breakfast sandwiches (I wanted chicken nuggets but apparently they don't make them, which is bullshit). I came home, ate it, and slept until 12:30, which was about three hours worth of sleep, and had the weirdest dream yet.
Friday, September 24, 2010
But in order to get those parachutes to work at all, we had to drop them off of the bleachers, about 100 feet in the air. So one of us (a team of two) would have to stay on the ground and time the chute from the moment it was released to the moment it hit the ground. I went first to drop the parachute. After logging the time, I would venture back down to retrieve the chute, and then go ALL THE WAY BACK UP. Of course, after three tries, we would switch positions, but sometimes the stopwatch wouldn't work or one of us (mostly me) didn't know how to work it so if fucked up half the time and yeah... For four different weights, we had to do this. So more than twelve times, I was climbing up and down those bleachers. I thought I had it bad yesterday, my legs all sore from climbing them so many times. I woke up today and thought, "I do NOT want to get up." But I can't miss school, so here I am, on the school computers, talking about my sore legs. >.<
For being muscular, I'm pretty out of shape.
Oh, and I saw one episode of Glee and fell in love. 8D
Wednesday, September 22, 2010
And then he thinks he has such big fat black ass balls to tell me that I'm a bad person and I think I'm better than him and smarter than him and everyone else. Well FUCK YOU, and go to fucking hell, because I'm sick of your girly shit.
And besides, why in the world do you give more of a shit about how I'm treating you than the kids who are starving in Africa? Really? And you call ME a bad person? If you don't like the way I'm treating you, then just go the fuck away and never talk to me again.
Monday, September 20, 2010
Last night, I watched three Karate movies. First one was the shitty Dragonball movie. Gawd, it was awful. The writer needs to be shot. xD No, not really. But I would really like to shoot out his kneecaps and scream, "WHAT WERE YOU THINKING??" Oh, and the casting director needs the same thing.
Then, it was the Karate Kid, the original one. It was good. "Wax on, wax off..." 8D
Lastly, we watched Street Fighter. We were much disappointedness. D8< Bad grammar, I know, but seriously, Bison looked NOTHING like Bison in the game. It made me wish that good animes and games were never popular enough to make a movie in the first place. And Chun-Li, really? I thought she was pretty, for the most part. I say for the most part because when she cried, I cringed. She looks SO UGLY when she cries! I was like, "PLEASE DON'T CRY EVER AGAIN!" Her face crumples up and she looks like the spawn of Gollum and a newborn baby. If ever she gets another part for a movie, she should be like some elf-priestess that's not allowed to show any emotion other than happiness. She has a great smile, but her sad face haunts my nightmares. D8<
But all in all, we (my brother and I) got to see some movies with kung-fu ass-kicking action. 8D
Tuesday, September 14, 2010
I walked out with about five items to call my own: A leather burnished journal with a magnetic closure (which I paid for myself), five erasers shaped like sushi, high-lighters in four or five different colors, a bag of Ricola and some tooth floss.
I ADORE the sushi erasers. There were other foods, but I absolutely, positively love those little sushi things. They come apart, so the shrimp and rice or fish or whatever can be used separately. I'm planning on giving a friend this mostly-rice california roll triangle thingy, mostly because she lieks Fruits Basket and she once told me that she was "the rice ball". I drew a rice ball on a paper she graded, and she told me about it, and she said, "Oh, I'm the rice ball!" I also drew a kitty. TohruxKyo pairing on my homework totally unintentional, but OKAY!
And, I think I really like the name Azrael. 8D
Sunday, September 12, 2010
I guess I feel a little betrayed by Daniel. I know that I shouldn't, because I mean, I didn't spend any real time with him, and I was always putting down whatever he did that I didn't like, like smoking... but anyway yeah, I want to totally forget this, but then again I don't want to, so that I don't make the same mistake again. I know I'll never meet another person like him. I'll most likely meet someone better, someone I see more often. For now, I just want to get on with life and have as much fun as possible.
Saturday, September 11, 2010
I had a dream about being preggers, tho. All because my teacher is preggo, and I watched Baby Mama last night.
I'm also a little depressed, because watching the Anime Fruits Basket didn't fulfill my dreams of watching it end. D8<>.< I miss my 8th grade friends, and I wonder if they're still as hyper and squirrelly as we were the last time I talked to them. D8<
But I actually AM sad that Haru actually has a lover in the anime. I guess I should just stick to keeping the dead guys. xDDDD No, whatever. Anyway, the chick he's in love with is actually a lot like me. 8D Or maybe, rather, Bee... but what am I saying? It's a fucking fictional character for shit's sake! xDD HOMG, I think I am just angry cuz I woke up UBER late today, missed Bakugan, DIDN'T go hiking like I was supposed to, and I still have to go to my teacher's house to feed her animals. Not that I don't like going over there (I actually love seeing her little dogs, they're so cute!), I just don't like doing things in a bad mood.
And lately, I don't know why I'm so depressedish and angsty, but I feel like I've got too many flaws and people shouldn't be friends with me because of it. I know it's all a lie, a lie of the Devil, but SHIT! It's been incepted into my brain that I'm not perfect, and I know I'm not. Nobody's perfect. Except Jesus. 8D But seriously, I feel like I've done all this shit worth hating me for, and I just want to sleep forever sometimes.
I think school is just depressing.
Cuz that chummy (junior now, not sophomore) kid just makes me think, I guess, that I'm just someone who IS attractive, but maybe I'm too weird to attract normal people, so all the ballsy young kids go after me like that--but at least he's not abnormal or anything. I dunno, I think I need to eat.
If you count all the "I"s and "me"s and "my"s and any other first-person article in this blog correctly, you earn as many cookies as you count articles. xD
Sunday, September 5, 2010
If you're not sure who exactly he is, his name is Hatsuharu Sohma. 8D
Okay, I know what you're thinking. "You go from hot anime guy to some weird-ass with a beard?" Yeah, actually, that's Samuel Beam from Iron and Wine, and his music makes me melt, which in turn means that I am totally attracted to him. But epic fail on my part, because he looks ALOT like my brother-in-law. >.<>
I just can't develop my own style, can I?
Sunday, August 29, 2010
God, I hate him so much I've devoted two blogs to smashing his ass. I need a hobby.
Friday, August 20, 2010
Oh yeah, and have I mentioned that Matt is being even more of a little whiny bitch than he usually is?
He asked me today, "How come you never want to hang out with me and Josh? Like, we're your closest friends and you go and hang out with people you don't even know. Why do you always avoid us?"
Okay, EVERYTHING was wrong with that statement. One, I DO "hang out" with them--I just usually go away because Matt is complaining all the damned time and I'm never feeling up to dealing with his girly bullshit. Two, they are not my "closest friends", Josh is my brother and Matt is just my friend. I don't even know him that well, besides the fact that I know he's a paranoid-ass bitch. Three, when I hang out with these "other people", I actually know them--longer and better than I have Matt himself, so he needs to shut the fuck up. Four, I NEVER avoid them. Whenever I see them, I say, "Hey, what's up?" and then they just start talking and usually Matt fucks it up with asking me some stupidass question like, "Why are you so mean to me? Why do you ignore me?" Well maybe I don't want to have to deal with your whiny ass, you stupid fuck.
So I'm just sitting there, on some steps, too tired to move or even deal with his shit, waiting for him to finally give up, and he does. "Fine, be that way. You only care about yourself." (something along those lines)
Oh, I'm sorry, was that supposed to be an insult? No, YOU only care about yourself--you are a spoiled little rich boy who has had everything bought and handed to him from the day he was born. And for the record, it has been proven that single children are fucked up in the head anyway, so from the very start you were wrong. I only wish he could hear himself.
Actually, I don't wish he could hear himself--so that the rest of us can point and laugh and make him feel bad about himself. Go get your parents to have sex and produce another child so that you have better things to do than whine to me that I don't "hang out" with you or "ignore" you, because the only reason I decide to not hang out with you and ignore you all the time is because you USED to be fun to hang out with, but then you got all whiny and bitchy about what I did to you and what I do to you now and now I don't want to even so much as look in your direction.
And I try not to stereotype races, but it's so hard when one particular race has made the same annoying stereotype to me all my life. I mean, there are cool black people out there that I know that aren't just plain annoying, but Matt is really hurting my openess to the african american culture. Not black people--african americans. Because I'm sure that africans and british africans and all that shiz are pretty cool people to be around.
Hell, Matt is HALF black. The other half is white. So I guess that means, interracial couples are cool but their children are devilspawn.
I don't wish he were dead, just less whiny and bitchy. I wish I had a nice, long and intelligent word for "whiny, bitchy, girly, and just plain annoying". Maybe if I look hard enough on the internet I can find one.
Saturday, August 7, 2010
I like thunder, I love storms. It's nice when we get some rain every now and then. 8D So I sat there, listening to the rain pound my window, thinking of something to draw on graffiti for Elizabeth--like a red flower with rain in it.
Then suddenly, a thought occurs:
HOLY SHIT THE DOGS ARE OUTSIDE IN THE POURING RAIN!
I jump out of bed and go to my brother's room. He sleeps like a baby in this storm. I tell him, "Did you bring the dogs in?"
Well, obviously, since the dogs aren't in there.
"THEY ARE OUTSIDE IN THE RAIN!! IT'S RAINING AND THEY'RE OUTSIDE!"
I turn to go get my dogs. I turn off the alarm and open the door. Poor Hershey isn't even in any kind of shelter--she just sits there, in the middle of it all, looking like the saddest creature I've ever seen.
"Hershey! Come here, baby!" I call. Where was Zuzu? Five seconds later, here he comes, out of nowhere, waddling like a little drowned rat. Hershey is freaking out and keeps licking me, all grateful.
I turn and see my brother in the kitchen. "Go get them some towels," I tell him. I go turn the alarm back on.
I go back into the hallway that leads to mine and my brother's room, and I see my brother's back, walking towards his room. I TOLD YOU TO GO GET TOWELS, YOU FAT FUCK.
So I have to pull a towel out myself and dry the dogs off as best I can. Hershey first--she's bigger and has more water stuck in her slick fur. Zuzu just wants to play, and tugs on the towel.
So then I leave them to my brother's room and go back to my room and try to sleep, but it doesn't seem to be working. All I can think of is my poor dogs and my brother's selfish self, not even bothering. And he wants to consider them HIS dogs. Asshole.
So finally I went to sleep. I think I'll make that graffito now. 8D
Anyway, tonight we went to go see a movie at the church--To Save A Life. It was pretty epic. People died. There was tons of drama, but it wasn't like melodramatic shit where people make their own problems and wonder how in the world it happened. It was drama where they knew how it happened but they didn't know how to fix it, at least not without Jesus. 8D But that's the thing, in this movie. They didn't mention Jesus or the Gospel once. o.0 So I wonder about their motives behind this movie...
Most of it was about this guy trying to make up for neglecting his old best friend, who had saved his life once. The kid killed himself because he felt totally and utterly alone. Shot himself in the head AT SCHOOL. >.< What a better way to go--blow your brains out at school, just to prove a point. But hey, at least it made people change their minds about the people you "don't see" in school.
I liked it, for the most part. Some parts were hilarious and downright cheesy (but were made to be cheesy/corny, so that was ok). Others I nearly wanted to cry. 8D But I didn't cry until the end, not that much anyway.
It made me wonder if I'm one of those people--the ones nobody sees, or everyone sees and doesn't give a shit about. Or if I'm one of those on the other side--I see those that need friendship, but I'm too shy to go up and do it myself. I think I'm a little bit of both.
That's why I love the interwebs so much--there's so much anonimity that nobody really gives a rat's ass who you are or where you live. I can be outgoing on the net--in real life, I don't know what, but something inside me just doesn't want to go up to random people and say, "hi". I can be introduced and be cordial or whatever, but if I'm going to attempt making friends with people, I need to be introduced by a friend or something. Even then, I don't know how to start a conversation. I guess I could start with stuff like,
"Do you like Pokemon?" or "What's your favorite video game?" If the answer is "no" or "call of duty 4", then I'm guessing we can't be great friends. xD
But... yeah. I want to be an outgoing-ish sort of person, but I just don't have the social skills. And I think people who don't know me all that well find it hard to talk to me when it's not on a regular basis, so they just give up. Which I understand, because they just want a typical shallow friend relationship. Well, I'm not that kind of friend--I like to know my friends on a deeper, more personal level. I know that their favorite color is green or red, but I'll never remember their birthday because they'll be sure to tell me anyway. xD
Thursday, August 5, 2010
So I complain to my hubby on fb that it's not working and I tell him, I'm gunna burn it and he will do it with me. So he says cool and I say:
If you've got the gasoline, I've got the matches
And I felt that it was so brilliant that I have to put it into a poem or song of some sort.
But I'm not creative enough to write songs. Maybe a poem and then transform it into a song... but whatevs. I like that line. 8D
Tuesday, August 3, 2010
Ah, well. What're you gunna do?
I want to sit on my roof and watch the stars.
The night always makes me feel better. Some people hate the dark and night and all that. But I love it. It means that the sun isn't beating down on you like the romans did to Jesus. It's warm in the summer, but it's not hotter than Satan's toenails.
If it were hotter than Satan's toenails, I'd have been living in Cali from the start. No way in hell is my family going through five AC units each year.
Behind me, Teen Mom is on. It's annoying. People are yelling at each other. They're like, "I want my baby. I want to get away from my mom. Ever since the baby, life just sucks." WELL NO SHIT. YOU decided to open your legs, it's nobody else's fault that you got pregnant and all this shit happened.
Besides, there are tons of other teen moms out there, and I don't see them giving you any shit about their life. Just do us all a favor and drop dead, please.
No, not really. I just hate watching that show and for some reason my sisters love it. They make it an occasion. "Do you want to come over to my house and watch Teen Mom?" "No, I'll watch it here, besides... excuseexcuseexcuse..."
There I go, bitching again. Dammit.
I want to write, but I don't know what about. And I want it to be somewhat legit, but I don't have all the time in the world to be typing.
I printed out the tabs to Fever Dream by Iron and Wine and try to learn it, but I soon realize that Iron and Wine songs are generally expert-player level, and I'm somewhere between novice and beginner. I do love the song, tho. I would sing it to my children before bed.
That would be cute--a song before bed instead of a book. Sure, I can read them a book, if they want. I'd ask them, "Do you want a song or a book tonight?" I would have to have one or three children, because I would not be able to choose if my two kids picked different things. OR I JUST HAD AN IDEA if I wrote a song that WAS ALSO A STORY like Rudolph the Red-Nose Reindeer!
My husband would probably be a musician as well, on the nights when I don't feel up to singing and playing. That is, if I DO get a husband. Lately, it seems, all the guys interested in me are either bad for me or I just don't like them. >.< With each guy I consider, I also consider how we would be married. What kind of life would it be like? If I can't see it, then I don't bother to consider it any longer. If I can see it and it's hell, then I just do my best to walk away. BUT ITS SO HARD.
"That's what she said."
WHAT WHO SAID THAT NOBODY THAT'S WHO!
I want to get out of this house and go somewhere with perfect weather. Like Trinidad, California. It's freakin beautiful there. I want to live there. Maybe I will, once I sprout wings and fly. It's such a cute little place, I wish I could just live like a hermit for the rest of my life and write til my fingers fall off and I die of depression that I can't write anymore.
I just hate the weather here. It's too hot to do ANYTHING. And even if there IS something to do, you're either not in the mood or on your period (which I am currently anticipating, no thanks to mother nature). I wish my life were something like an anime, where all the people are pretty and there's ALWAYS something to do that doesn't involve being indoors. AND YOU'RE COOL TOO!
You can tell I'm going to be on my period soon because I'm all moody and unhappy about my boring life. Any other week of the month, I'm little miss sunshine with a bird on my shoulder. Lately, I have seen nothing but depressing stuff--my tomato soup failure, my artistic failure, and even my lousy mood to all of it. Dammit, I want to go to perfect California.
But I'm stuck inside a house all day long.
BUT AT THE SAME TIME IS AWESOME
I wanna play sooo bad. There are so many different player classes and the artwork is so badass. BUT you have to download it in order to play, so there goes that idea. >.< This computer already has too much memory on it as it is, and it's not even that old! It's actually about a few months old, not even a year. SO WHYY DOES IT GLITCH OUT??
I'll tell you why. That stupid program my mother installed on it. It's eating away at our memory faster than my mother downloads pictures. Can someone get an external hard drive for this woman? Or another computer? I really wish I had my own laptop... >.<
But yeah... maybe when I get a stable job and earn some serious moohlah, I'll be able to buy my own stuff more and play Ragnarok. That is, if it doesn't die. I'm sure it won't die. It's too cool to die.
It's like .//Hack, but better.
Monday, August 2, 2010
First, I left it on too long and too hot. Then, I put too much milk in it, so it came out this weird speckled pink color. I tasted it. Too creamy. Double damn, literally. I decided it was time to give it to the dogs. I looked everywhere for a disposable bowl, finally decided on an old mint bucket, and poured it all in. I put some ice cubes in it because I learned the last time I made my dogs lick something boiling hot--they jumped back, shook their heads wildly (making soup drops go everywhere) and didn't touch it again. Well, the stupid one did, because she doesn't really learn, but the other is too smart and spoiled for his own good. I even gave him a noodle (it was fideo soup) and he didn't dare touch it.
So I set it outside and realized that it was too tall for the little one to get into, but the bigger dog would be all-right. She just looked at me like, "The hell you trying to do? It's too hot for hot soup in the middle of the freaking summer!" I was just like, "Bitch, eat it." But, of course, they didn't.
I decided to let them in and put the thing aside for later, when they cooled down and felt like eating some semi-warm soup. Hershey did, but Zuzu didn't even so much as look at it. I dipped my finger in some and let him lick it. He didn't touch it.
That spoiled dog...
Anyway, later they were put outside and I noticed that there were little red flecks on the wall where the soup used to be. Oh, hell. I'll clean it up later.
Later soon came, and I got on my hands and knees and began scrubbing the wall but it wouldn't come off, so I started laughing my ass off. "This is what I get for fucking up tomato soup and then feeding it to my animals..." I was both frustrated and slightly insane at this point. I don't really know why I started laughing. Thinking about it now, I still want to laugh. WHY IS IT SO FUNNY??
So hopefully I can find a site that isn't mostly blocked and watch Gundalian Invaders.
Sunday, August 1, 2010
Cuz, I'm ready to start another period and Hell, it's like I can't get away from them gettin skwishedd. >.< I know they're not much, but still! My niece will lay her head on my chest or climb up to reach my necklaces (I wear them all the time, to sleep and to shower, so she's always interested xD) and it's like, "LITTLE GIRL STOP IT THAT HURTS WHEN YOU TURN 12 TO 18 YOU'LL UNDERSTAND MY PAIN." xD
No seriously, She will know the pain. ಠ_ಠ
But anyway, about my necklaces...
One is a zinc or silver-plated copper chain with a circular pendant on the bottom with ocean waves engraved on it. I like it alot, so I wear it all the time. My dad gave it to me for christmas--it came with a grey Ocean Pacific brand shirt and I've worn it ever since. I can tell its nickel or whatever plated because it's rubbing off and the copper underneath is coming out.
The other one is a hemp square knot necklace that my friends made for me. It never comes off, unless you want me to snip the string and break it. It has different colored beads on it, each representing each of my closest friends at the time it was made. There are ten in all. I would only take it off if it breaks. I love it with all my heart cuz it was specially made and has all of my friends on it. 8D Well, not all, but most of them.
As I write, I listen to the Pandora Radio. Right now, When You Were Young by The Killers is playing. I love The Killers. I remember the first time I told my mother about The Killers. She was wondering why in the world they would name themselves such a name. I dunno. Some bands don't put much thought into the names of their band. They just go with what sounds cool. xD I've always wondered, if I was in a band, what would my band's name be? I'm sure we would all have to agree, so all of my opinions would be shot down, because my ideas suck. Unless its really clever, like The Beatles did with their name. 8D Like Beetles, but BEATles.
But I ain't clever, so whatever.
"We stand on the shoulders of Giants."
I dunno what this means, but my dad told this to me once in one of his "heart-to-heart, prepare you for the world" talks. I think it might be a lyric from Led Zeppelin.
Saturday, July 31, 2010
Runo Misaki is a twelve-year-old anime nightmare. I'm all for outrageous outfits and funky colored hair, but Runo takes it to an extreme. Not only does NOTHING match, but she wears just the worst hairstyle for her hair. She's like some sort of clown hooker. Short skirt, off-the-shoulder top, you can see her PINK BRA STRAPS for crying out loud. That is, if she's wearing any. Whore.
I love her knee-high socks, but those shoes have GOT to go. Seriously, who dresses this girl? Miley Cyrus? Or is she just colorblind? Everything from her head to hips matches somewhat. The rest of the way down, someone call a 911, the fashion police have got to see this.
And what's with those gloves? They look like they should match her boots, but they don't!
I mean, I can understand living on a limited budget, only affording to wear clothes that came from the bottom of the bin at Goodwill, but hand me twenty dollars and take me to Goodwill and I'll have an outfit ten times more stylish than that. Separately, each piece of her clothing looks cute. I think this is how her outfit was chosen--this is cute, that is cute, and this is too. Nothing accents a central piece, like her top and skirt. Even then, she's wearing next to nothing. I'm betting she doesn't even wear panties. Whore.
EVEN WORSE than her outfit is her personality. Runo is a headstrong girl who would describe herself as a "tomboy". Excuse me? What is the exact definition of a tomboy, anyway?
A girl considered boyish or masculine in behavior or manner.
A skirt is NOT considered masculine. Neither is her stubborn mule-headedness. Plenty of girls are stubborn. Runo is just annoying and won't take no for an answer, then gets everyone in a big pile of shit when she does something wrong. HALF of the adversity in the series is HER fault because she is such a STUPID BITCH.
And on top of that, she dresses funny.
Friday, July 30, 2010
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
Sunday, July 25, 2010
The guy goes to my church. Pretty successful guy. Talked to him once, wanna talk to him again but never have the time for a long chat so I gotta build up the courage to do it. >.< What I want to do is present this idea to him and see what he thinks of it.
I want to write a comic that is based on parkour and Jesus.
Imagine yourself in a world where information is closely monitored and anything about God or Jesus or the Bible is censored. It is against the law to be a believer in Christ or God--if so, you will be punished either by death or worse. Depends on how zealous you are for your convictions. So the only way to avoid being monitored is to go where nobody monitors you--on the rooftops. There are no bugs up there to watch or hear you, or detect your presence. Why would anyone be on the roof?
Enter the traceurs and traceuses for Jesus. They hold a meeting upon rooftops and in unmonitored places called Rooftops Ministries (still working on it, dun criticize. wait, scratch that, criticize and tell me what I can do to fix it). There they discuss the bible--not just hold sermons. Everyone is involved. (This is what I hate the most about church--you sit there and LISTEN to someone you don't know with people you don't know. I like small groups where everyone is involved.) So this small group of traceurs come and discuss the bible, yadda yadda, but it's not without its risks. Some people suspect that there are those on the rooftops, hiding in secret, doing "illegal" things. They hire other traceurs of the evil kind to take care of them, so that their peaceful world without God can go on being peaceful without these ruffians running about. Also, it's well known that anyone who captures a believer or has any information on how to bust these believers will be rewarded handsomely, so it is literally them against the world.
I want two main characters, a boy and a girl, plus a father figure of one rooftops ministries group to be in it. The leader (father figure guy) will die in the first volume so that no longer are the two teens protected by someone they trust--it will be them on their own, to survive without shelter, something like that. It's not your typical high school drama. Children die from bullets in this story--and it's not because someone was involved with the wrong gang at the wrong time.
I would like two main characters of different genders so that I can reel in audiences from both sides--not just girls or boys. Besides, I can't see a person in this world who doesn't think that Parkour isn't cool. It's supremely rad. It's beyond all kinds of rad on this planet. I wish I knew the ways of Parkour, but no way in my area is there going to be a parkour team. It's just too freakin hot.