Finally figured out why I'm so depressedish lately.
I guess I feel a little betrayed by Daniel. I know that I shouldn't, because I mean, I didn't spend any real time with him, and I was always putting down whatever he did that I didn't like, like smoking... but anyway yeah, I want to totally forget this, but then again I don't want to, so that I don't make the same mistake again. I know I'll never meet another person like him. I'll most likely meet someone better, someone I see more often. For now, I just want to get on with life and have as much fun as possible.
You make it sound like he died o.O
ReplyDeleteAlmost wish he did, so I couldn't feel so bad and wouldn't have to deal with him being around anymore. D8<
ReplyDeleteThat seems harsh. >.<
So, whoa. Can I ask why you're all rawr at him?
ReplyDeleteYeah, we just had like this weird semi-unofficial romance thing over facebook and im (he would get texts on his phone), and I mean I've always really liked him and loved him, but one day I get on Facebook and I'm no longer married to him and I'm liek, "whut happened?" I go to his page and his profile pic is him kissing this chick he's been in n out with and I'm liek, "Fuck this shit, I'm tired of it being unofficial bullshit and rawrrawrrawr."
ReplyDeleteSo yeah, I'm promising myself that I won't make that kind of mistake again. If a dude lieks me, and wants to go out, it will be an official YES or NO. I'm sick of it being in the middle.
He didn't even say anything either. I'm like, "WHO THE FUCK DOES THAT SHIT?" Oh yeah, Daniel. >.< But it's not like I can blame him, because neither of us actually went out of our way to say, "Hey, are we really dating?"
So I'm pissed but I'm not supposed to be cuz I shoulda seen it coming?
That's kind of funny---I feel like that's why all of my relationships have fallen apart---we were always pseudo-dating. (Not that there's many instances of it, but it happened both two out of two times I "dated" someone, if you can call it that.)
ReplyDeleteAll of the times I've gone out with anyone (Koi and Josh), it's been mostly online, with us rarely meeting in person 'cuz my dad's a loony goony like that---he thinks all teenagers are out to have sex (and, well, Josh was, but that's another story). Anyway, cuz of that, all we ever did was write on the internet (not even IM, cuz back in the dizzay Gaia didn't even have IM!)
So we did. But it was boring. Sometimes we'd forget we were even going out. Koi or Josh would be like, "Uh, are we still dating?"
I'd be like, "I think so? Maybe? Do you want to still be 'going out'? All we ever do is write online, and what we say's getting old."
Him: "Yeah.... so, hey! Listen, I met this chick and..."
Then he'd be like, "So, since we're not REALLY going out, just letting you know, I have a gf."
And I'd be all angsty, like, "Rawr, I'm so mad/sad/jealous! And not cuz I really loved you, but cuz I'm alone now! You've at least GOT someone!"
So it's kind of like your story, but not?
Anyway, I feel like the same thing's happening all over again with this DJ guy who always IM's me on facebook. It's like he WAS going out with some chick named Elizabeth (ironically, yeah, though he called her "Lizzy"), but, at the same time, he kept begging me to go out with him and basically posted super dirty stuff to me. I was like, "No! Of course I'm not going out with you, if you're cheating with your gf, by pseudo-dating-y me, considering the things you post to me/the amount of time we spend talking to each other!"
So in that case I was like a mix of you/her? I dunno, none of my situations were exactly the same, but they had similar aspects :3
And, yeah, I realize they're all guys I mentioned. No chicks ever liek meh. Cuz I've always only had relationships with guys everyone always thinks I'm straight but momentarily confused. Grr >.>