Another day. Worse.
A piece of randomness to contemplate: as I ate my lunch (a ham and cheese Lunchables pack), a brown piece of leaf fluttered (more like crash-landed) into one of the openings where my crackers would go. WTF? I picked it up and looked at it, then threw it away. Not in the trash, but just out into the wind, where it fell onto the floor.
If I haven't said it already, I'll say it again; I hate A-days. Hate 'em with all my stinking black heart. I hate History and Math, because Math makes me feel like a fuckin' retard and the only homework in History is to take notes, so I really don't learn anything (the teach doesn't even check the day after for your notes). And then he expects us to know a 60-70 question test at the end of the month plus or minus a couple essays. THATISBEARCUM!
Apologetics and Science aren't so bad (Science teach has a reputation for being hard on his students and in general a penchant for tom-fuckery, and Apologetics is just rather annoying because it's taking notes and listening to an old man drone on and on about something that he expects everyone, long-term and short term memory retainers, to remember). Every once in a while they give an assignment, and it's a fifty-fifty chance of the ass-sign-mint being uber difficult or ridiculously easy.
Anyway... for class favorites, I won "Most Artistic" and "Most Original". I'm not sure what that's supposed to mean. Am I "Most Aristic" because people just take me for granted that I can draw a doodle better than others or what? I mean, I don't think that the people who voted for me for that position even know half the shit I've done. Sure, they see a cute doodle hanging up on the teacher's desk and shit, but do they really know? I don't even know alot of the kid's names in my class. I find it creepy when people know my name but I don't know theirs. It's like, "GTFAWAY! I've never seen you before!"
As for "Most Original"... how do you determine that, anyway? Is it by someone starting a fashion trend or ignoring it? Is someone "original" when they think of something no one else has thought of (which, by the way, is pretty much impossible today)? Considering who else won with me, I think it just might be all of the above plus "that person who is just so strange and yet semi-cool but we don't want to talk to them so that we don't ruin our reputation as 'cool/popular' because other people might not consider them popular and to even be seen with the likes of them could ruin my high school career".
Fuck it all.
People probably see me as anti-social lately because I've just tried to avoid talking at all. I mean, it's not like I don't like talking to people. Just sometimes, I don't have much to say. There are three situations that happen when two people try to converse. One: Person A tries to strike up a conversation, but person B doesn't respond at all, and person B is labeled as "antisocial". Two: Person A says something to person B as an idle thought, and person B says something back that requires a response from person A and the conversation is born. Three: Person A says something to person B and person B replies, only the answer is not something that catches person A of particular interest and the conversation has died.
I'm usually in situation One and Three. Sometimes, I'm person A, and other times, I'm person B. Lately, I've been person B. I mean, I try to be nice when others are cordial to me, but fuck it if I've been pissed off already.
Today, a girl caught my attention as I stared in her general direction, but I was really looking at a long poster of M.C. Escher's Metamorphose poster. "Are you okay?" she asked.
"No," I replied.
She looked like she didn't want to ask, but she did anyway. "Why?"
"Oh, you know, it's just been one of those weeks." She probably thought I was on my period. Actually, I just got through with that shit. Of all days, one less excuse.
I figure this is one of those times when God hides himself so that you can grow closer to Him, but lately everything coming out of my mouth has been "shit fuck fuckedy tomdickery son-of-a-monkey-fuck". Trust me, I can put a sailor to shame with my shit.
I'm just tired of looking out on the patio and wishing my gradumanated friends had been a year younger and stayed with me....
I like that---I've never heard it before: that is bear cum.
ReplyDeleteI bet I could have been in the running for most artistic if more people would have known that I actually drew, if I would have pursued art over writing (like taken Art II and III as opposed to Creative Writing or any of my other electives), and been more outgoing.
When I first read "GTFAWAY!" I read it as "giftaway"---I thought you were trying to make a play on the word "giveaway."
I can see why you'd deserve both awards. I dunno about THE most artistic/original of your year (cuz I didn't know many people from your year unless I shared a class or spring term with them or whatever), but of the ones that I knew you fit the description. I think it'd be funny if you were to tell them what you actually think about the titles.
I used to hate when De Arcos would be like, "Are you having one of those days/weeks/etc?" I'd be like thinking, "Are you asking if I'm on my period?!"