EVEN MY DOGS MAKE ME WANNA CRY

For lunch, I decided that I would make tomato soup. I love tomato soup. Turns out I was making it for the dogs.

First, I left it on too long and too hot. Then, I put too much milk in it, so it came out this weird speckled pink color. I tasted it. Too creamy. Double damn, literally. I decided it was time to give it to the dogs. I looked everywhere for a disposable bowl, finally decided on an old mint bucket, and poured it all in. I put some ice cubes in it because I learned the last time I made my dogs lick something boiling hot--they jumped back, shook their heads wildly (making soup drops go everywhere) and didn't touch it again. Well, the stupid one did, because she doesn't really learn, but the other is too smart and spoiled for his own good. I even gave him a noodle (it was fideo soup) and he didn't dare touch it.

So I set it outside and realized that it was too tall for the little one to get into, but the bigger dog would be all-right. She just looked at me like, "The hell you trying to do? It's too hot for hot soup in the middle of the freaking summer!" I was just like, "Bitch, eat it." But, of course, they didn't.

I decided to let them in and put the thing aside for later, when they cooled down and felt like eating some semi-warm soup. Hershey did, but Zuzu didn't even so much as look at it. I dipped my finger in some and let him lick it. He didn't touch it.

That spoiled dog...

Anyway, later they were put outside and I noticed that there were little red flecks on the wall where the soup used to be. Oh, hell. I'll clean it up later.

Later soon came, and I got on my hands and knees and began scrubbing the wall but it wouldn't come off, so I started laughing my ass off. "This is what I get for fucking up tomato soup and then feeding it to my animals..." I was both frustrated and slightly insane at this point. I don't really know why I started laughing. Thinking about it now, I still want to laugh. WHY IS IT SO FUNNY??